“My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you – O Absalom, my son, my son!” (New International Version)
Across the last weeks we watched David’s family tragedy unfold (see notes for chs. 13-17). Absalom charmed the nation, stole hearts, and led an army across the Jordan. Chapter 18 is the climax: David’s seasoned warriors meet Absalom’s fresh recruits in “the forest of Ephraim,” likely the rugged wooded slopes east of the river, modern‐day Gilead. Archaeology shows thick scrub and sinkholes there; the terrain itself can swallow men (v. 8). Scripture reminds us that creation, too, can act as God’s agent of judgment (compare Joshua 10:11).
• David divides his troops into thirds under Joab, Abishai, and
Ittai.
• He wants to go out, but the people insist he stay. Wise leaders know
when their presence helps and when it hurts.
• The text stresses the king’s plea: “Be gentle with the young man
Absalom for my sake.” The Hebrew word naʿar means more
than “boy”; it can mark a favored son (Genesis 22:12). David speaks with
a father’s heart, not a general’s voice.
Key thought: Love and justice wrestle inside the same man. We feel the pull every parent knows: “How do I seek what is right and still love my child?”
Absalom’s famous hair (14:26) becomes his noose. He hangs from a large ʾēlā – translated “oak,” possibly a sturdy terebinth common east of the Jordan. Deuteronomy 21:23 warned that anyone hanged on a tree was under God’s curse. Paul later links that curse to Christ (Galatians 3:13).
Joab sees no room for mercy; he thrusts three javelins into Absalom’s heart. Early Jewish readers noticed the irony: three spears for the son who once burned Joab’s field (14:30). Augustine said Joab represents “cold justice unchecked by charity,” while David shows “love almost unchecked by justice.” Mature believers need both.
Hebrew note: the verb ṭāqaʿ (v. 14) for “plunge” often describes planting a peg or driving a stake. Absalom, who staked his claim to the throne, is now literally “staked” by the commander he manipulated.
Two messengers race: Ahimaaz, the priest’s son, and an unnamed
Cushite (literally, “the Ethiopian”). David waits between the inner and
outer gates – straddling safety and exposure, like his own torn heart.
Notice the repeated word šālôm (“peace/wholeness”) in
their exchange (vv. 28-29):
Ahimaaz: “All is well (šālôm)!”
David: “Is the young man Absalom safe (šālôm)?”
Peace for the nation is not peace for the father—an ache that
foreshadows Jesus weeping over Jerusalem (Luke 19:41).
Literary device: David’s cry “my son, my son” is an example of epizeuxis – immediate repetition that intensifies grief. Spurgeon called it “one of the saddest cries human ears have ever heard, and one of the clearest windows into God’s own heart.”
The cost of rebellion
• Absalom mirrors Eden’s grasp for power (Genesis 3) and Lucifer’s pride
(Isaiah 14).
• Every revolt against rightful authority leads to a tree of death—his
tree anticipates the cross where another Son hangs, but for rebels
rather than as one.
The tension of mercy and justice
• David’s mercy is genuine but partial; he had never truly disciplined
Absalom (13:21; 14:24). Calvin warns that “leniency without correction
is cruelty in the end.”
• God, by contrast, loves perfectly and judges perfectly at the cross
(Romans 3:26).
The king who mourns
• David would exchange places with his guilty son; Jesus actually does
(Mark 10:45).
• David’s mourning fulfills prophecy of the suffering servant king
(Psalm 22; Isaiah 53).
Leadership and delegation
• David’s troops insist he remain safe because “you are worth ten
thousand of us” (v. 3). A leader’s greater value lies not in status but
in calling; protect what God has placed in you for others’
sake.
Historical voices:
• Jerome (4th century) saw Joab as “the law” and David as “grace.”
• John Wesley preached that David’s lament “calls us to feel divine
compassion for every lost child of Adam.”
• Where do I, like David, struggle to balance mercy and justice in my
relationships?
• Am I willing to stay “behind the walls” when others say my direct
involvement would harm the mission?
• Joab prized results over compassion; where am I tempted to do the
same?
• Do I hear the Father’s cry over the lost, and does it move me to
prayer and action?
Spiritual practice: This week, pray by name for prodigals. Picture the Father waiting by the gate. Ask God to give you David’s ache and Christ’s self‐giving love.
Psalm 3 – David’s dawn prayer while fleeing Absalom
Matthew 23:37 – Jesus’ lament, “How often I wanted to gather your
children…”
Hebrews 12:5-11 – A Father’s discipline that produces
righteousness
1 Kings 1:5-6 – Another undisciplined son (Adonijah) shows the pattern
continues
Romans 5:10 – Reconciliation through the death of God’s Son
“Stricken, Smitten, and Afflicted” – Thomas Kelly, 1804.
Verse 2 links the pierced Son to the grief of those who loved Him,
helping us stand at both Absalom’s tree and Calvary’s cross.
Merciful Father,
You hear every cry that rises from broken hearts.
You know the sorrow of a king who lost his son
and You chose to lose Your own Son to win us back.
Teach us to love with holy compassion
and to act with holy justice.
Guard our steps, guide our hearts,
and make us willing to stand in the gap for the lost.
In the name of Jesus, who hung on the tree for rebels like us. Amen.